Closure

I never believed in the term "closure." I always felt that its a bullshit way of making an excuse for one thing or another. Since hearing of the passing of an old boyfriend, I was taking it real hard. I wasn't too sure if I was going to attend his services. Not sure If I would be welcomed or not, but I wanted to pay my respects to a person who at one time I loved.
I was taken in by 2 of my best friends along with my brother, my legs were shaky & I felt like running back to the car. My brother took me in the small room where his casket lay. I see his cancer stricken wife at the foot of his casket(obviously going through chemo). It broke my heart. I was so focused on Mario and his untimely death but after seeing her, how young and beautiful she was to be going through this tragedy, I had a change of heart, I saw things in a different light. I know one day they will be together. I found comfort in that.
We are only given one life here on this Earth. Why not live it to the fullest & go for your dreams? I realized that I wasn't being as supportive with W as I should have been. I live by schedule & do not like taking risks of any sort. He is currently attending college to become a firefirefighter but truly wanted to study audio engineering. He's great at stuff like that while I don't understand it. To make a long story short, he didn't go in that direction because he felt I wasn't behind him. Honestly I wasn't. The job market here in our city is tough and firefighting felt like a sure job & a stable way to make a living.
I know believe everyone should give their dreams a shot. If you fail then at least you know you tried and will never have to ask yourself what if? Life is too short, make the most of it & never take for granted the ones you love. I am so blessed to have a great, no make that fantastic husband & son. I want my son to follow his dreams & so on & so on. So thats it. Out of tragedy I learned the most valuable lesson that has changed me & my family forever.