Say hello to his little friend

Meet BooBoo. I like to think of him as our second child. He was given as a babyshower gift to Nathan from my Tia Dora & Deidre. Somehow Nathan grew very attached to him and I have to admit, so have I. The two of them always make their way into our bed each night. There have been many times when I have to issue Amber Alerts because Nathan cannot sleep without him. I don't know when or how Nathan grew attached to him but I know I did earlier this year when I was in the hospital. Nathan wasn't allowed to visit me because I was in ICU so he gave BooBoo to Willie to give to me. This past May we decided to take Nathan to Texas Childrens Hospital because of a high fever(his body always reacts weird when he gets a fever) Here we were, the 3 of us with BooBoo in tow trying to find the entrance when we realized Nathan had dropped him somewhere. Panicked I took off trying to find him, literally worried that he would not be found but alas! there he was lying next to a trash can. I wonder when and if Nathan will one day forget about him, I know I won't.

Finally!

I've been waiting for what seems like eternity for this movie to come out. W actually agreed to see it with me and admited it looks good. Hopefully we can find a sitter this weekend.

While browsing Etsy I found a cute necklace. I guess I can add it to my birthday wish list. Etsy seller: trystbykerry

Closure

I never believed in the term "closure." I always felt that its a bullshit way of making an excuse for one thing or another. Since hearing of the passing of an old boyfriend, I was taking it real hard. I wasn't too sure if I was going to attend his services. Not sure If I would be welcomed or not, but I wanted to pay my respects to a person who at one time I loved.
I was taken in by 2 of my best friends along with my brother, my legs were shaky & I felt like running back to the car. My brother took me in the small room where his casket lay. I see his cancer stricken wife at the foot of his casket(obviously going through chemo). It broke my heart. I was so focused on Mario and his untimely death but after seeing her, how young and beautiful she was to be going through this tragedy, I had a change of heart, I saw things in a different light. I know one day they will be together. I found comfort in that.
We are only given one life here on this Earth. Why not live it to the fullest & go for your dreams? I realized that I wasn't being as supportive with W as I should have been. I live by schedule & do not like taking risks of any sort. He is currently attending college to become a firefirefighter but truly wanted to study audio engineering. He's great at stuff like that while I don't understand it. To make a long story short, he didn't go in that direction because he felt I wasn't behind him. Honestly I wasn't. The job market here in our city is tough and firefighting felt like a sure job & a stable way to make a living.
I know believe everyone should give their dreams a shot. If you fail then at least you know you tried and will never have to ask yourself what if? Life is too short, make the most of it & never take for granted the ones you love. I am so blessed to have a great, no make that fantastic husband & son. I want my son to follow his dreams & so on & so on. So thats it. Out of tragedy I learned the most valuable lesson that has changed me & my family forever.

Blank

Yesterday I found out that an ex boyfriend of mine, Mario, passed away. It's been very hard for me. Granted, we were together when I was younger but we were together for years and went through a lot together. Im very sad. There are so many things running through my head like how we broke up to visions of him dancing or the sound of his voice. Over the years, up until I met Willie, we still kept in contact. After getting over the break up I never had ill feelings towards him & truly wished him the best. I was glad to hear he was married and he felt the same way when he heard I was engaged. Today is his viewing and Im not sure Im going to be able to handle it. I have my friends and family who are willing to support me but Im just so scared of seeing him. I know he's not going to look like himself. Im scared because I dont know how im going to react. We were close and together every single day that we were in the relationship. Im sad because having known him, I knew he had dreams of making something of himself and now his life was cut short. I know God has his plans for everything, it's just hard to understand it right now with him dying the way he did.

Wish List

Here are a few things that I've been admiring. Im trying to cut back on spending but who knows, my birthday is around the corner.

Astrology Pillowcases-Urban Outfitters

Blue Sweater-Anthropologie

Love Birds Necklace-Etsy seller Sweetmini

Monogrammed Purse Hook-Not sure where I found this image

Vintage Blue Apples-Etsy seller Spacejam

Little Willie

Nathan ran up to me the other day and said "Mommy, remember Papa(my grandpa) calls me "Little Willie!" He found it quite amusing as did I. Willie used to be called Little Willie, and still does by some of his relatives. Its interesting how we are able to make these "Mini Me's." They look like us and act like us. I like to think Nathan gets his goofiness and most of his looks from his dad and his cautiousness and memory from me.

While at my cousins graduation party today I was asked when is Nathan going to have a little sister. Its a question that has been popping up quite frequently, most recently by my dad the other night at dinner. He was speaking as if it was fact that Nathan will have a sibling by the times hes five. Hello...he's 4 1/2! My mother even promised him a sister when he turns five. Sure we always envisioned our children being 5 yrs apart. My older brother, younger sister and I are all born 5 years apart(80,85,90) At times I do feel sad for Nathan because I know he's lonely. On the other hand I also feel that the time has to be right for us.